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All Good Things Come to an End – Helping Your Kids to Achieve Closure
Just like adults, children experience a strong range of feelings when they must deal with change and endings in their lives. Whether this means saying goodbye to friends when they move to a new city, the end of a holiday or school year, or even the death of a family member, friend, or pet, children often need your help in dealing with their feelings as they grieve the end of one part of their lives, and learn to manage the way their lives will be from now on.
The first thing you’ll need to do to help your child to achieve closure is to expect some challenging questions, and to be able to answer them honestly and directly. Don’t beat around the bush when your kid is asking you about the way that things are, what has happened, or what s/he should expect. Use clear language that is accessible to your child. For example, when talking about death, don’t use "adult" words such as passed on, lost, or other ambiguous terms. Use straight forward terms such as died or was killed, even if that seems blunt and a bit awkward to you. Children thrive on having thoughts clearly laid out in their minds and they cannot achieve this without the right language and information.
Give your child the opportunity to mourn the life that they have lost. This could be any part of their lives that have come to an end, not just a death. Encourage your child to express how they’re feeling and allow them to talk about their thoughts. Don’t force such expressions, but let your child know that you’re there for him/her when the time comes that s/he’s ready to talk.
Include your child in your own mourning and efforts to achieve closure. Don’t hide the fact that you’ve gone through some upset or that you’re sad. Your child will look to you as an example of what’s normal and acceptable. If you show that it’s alright to feel these things and then move on, then you will demonstrate what it is to achieve closure in a healthy way. You can even participate in closure-seeking activities together, such as looking at photo albums, creating scrap books, writing letters that may or may not ever be mailed, or drawing pictures.
Allow for reminiscence. Your child, like you, cannot properly achieve closure if the attitude in the family is to pretend that the situation has always been as it is now. If kids cannot talk about their old friends, a dead family member, or “the way it was”, then they will not feel comfortable with its passing. Allow the acceptance that things have changed – that things were different before but that they’re also fine now – to be openly and comfortably discussed.
By allowing for the expression of thoughts and emotions and by being open and honest with your child, it will be much easier for him or her to achieve closure no matter what the situation happens to be. |
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December 2007
Access 2007 Advanced
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March 2008
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Shipping fees will increase for all packages shipped after January 1, 2008. This increase is due to UPS raising their fees. On average a domestic package will cost an additional $3.00 to ship and international package rates will increase on average of $5.00. For more information, please see http://www.ups.com/content/us/en/shipping/cost/zones/index.html
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Almeda University announces partnership with Fast Track Resumes
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Remember!
Your degree approval from Almeda University stays on file indefinitely. You may proceed at any time.
However, even though we do not anticipate an increase in fees, keep in mind that any fees quoted are guaranteed for 30 calendar days only. If you respond after this time period, you will be responsible for any additional fees that may be in effect.
On a budget?
Almeda offers a 0% finance plan. Click here for more information!
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