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Anger Management - Learn to Keep Your Cool

Experts will tell you that you should never hold your anger in, and that expressing it is good for your physical and mental health. There is a lot of truth to this, but there is a danger in being too angry. We all get angry on occasion, but there are some who have bigger issues when it comes to their feelings. Some fly off in a rage, and this type of excessive anger can damage relationships, and can sometimes result in violence. If someone has too much anger, they have to learn to control those feelings.

According to anger specialist Charles Spielberger, PhD (psychologist), anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage." That's quite a swing. While anger is natural, and even healthy, rage is not. Not only does anger affect the emotions, it affects the body too. Those in a fit of anger will experience an increase in their heart rate, and the blood pressure goes up. Anger can also trigger an upswing in energy level and pump up the levels of hormones and adrenaline in the body.

Though it is healthy to release anger, it is not always appropriate to do so. You can't lose your cool at work, or you may be out of work. You can't scream at the bus driver because they missed your stop, though a few well-chosen words might be in order. Instead, we learn to suppress our anger until we can find a way to let it out in an appropriate manner. However, some never learn to release it, and it builds up within the body and the mind, and that is where the big problems begin.

Holding in anger leads to things like passive-aggressive behaviors. That means you may lash out at someone in a way that does not indicate that you are the one who has caused them misery. Passive aggressive people do not engage in one on one confrontation. It can also lead to a very cynical and very hostile type of personality. Someone with this problem may find fault with everyone and everything, and will speak in a sarcastic tone to express what they are feeling.

Instead of a person lashing out every time they feel anger, or holding it in no matter how upset they get, it is a good idea to learn good ways to get rid of some of the angry feelings that can build up during the day. Many learn that exercise is often a very good way to release much of that pent up energy. Others like to do things that promote relaxation, like deep breathing and Yoga. Some find they need to have assertiveness training, and some might need therapy to work out the true reason why they are so angry. Assertiveness is different than being aggressive, and can help some better manage feelings. Therapy is for those who have no idea why they feel so out of control at times. Sometimes, it is just a matter of a person learning that they are often too hard on themselves day in and day out. If in doubt, it doesn't hurt to see someone for a little guidance.

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